I cant’ prevent myself from suffering deeply.

I prefer to suffer myself instead of seeing others suffering….. It’s part of my character, behaving like this. It’s written in my DNA.

I’m experiencing a whole series of things which include emotional troubles, health problems inside my family, a dear friend being severly ill and more….

I’m trying to cope with this but I cannot pretend too much from myself….
Everything is happening at once, all together.

– Stayinng close to firends experiencing the sufference I had with my pa when he was ill, is one of these.
I feel bad because somehow I’m re-experiencing the pain suffered at that time…… However no one seems to understand this.

– Not to mention the rest…. which is causing a great pain to my heart. Again I have taken a decision because I prefer 10.000 times to suffer myself instead of causing pain to anyone else I love.

I feel lost, I feel unable to react……
But I have to. and I will. 🙂 One far day!

Music is my big help.